A third case of mad cow disease in the United States has been confirmed, but we in Nevada can take comfort that it was in distant Alabama -- our frequent competitor in the various charts of worst state for ... Well, fill in the blank. Hey, we may be statistically dumb, but at least we haven't had any cases of mad cow disease. In your face, Alabama!
Statistically, we're pretty safe from mad cow disease here in the states. The FDA has implemented some serious safeguards that more or less assure madness-free beef, but they're not completely effective, as the recent case proves.
The main prophylactic measure is the ban on feeding certain parts of cows to other cows. I think I may have missed something in my natural history classes. Was there a time when wild cows roamed the plains pouncing upon weaker cows and devouring their spinal columns, perhaps with some fava beans and a nice Chianti? No wonder it's called "mad" cow. This is assuredly mad science gone awry. Someone send for the villagers with their pitchforks and torches.
Reports say this was an older cow that may have contracted it from eating feed pre-dating the ban. The cow was about 10 years old, and cows can live close to 30 years, so the term "older" is relative here. Apparently that's taking into account some sort of bovine actuarial table that takes into account early deaths by stampede, roping accidents and sudden exposure to pneumatic hammers.
Your chances of contracting the disease increase somewhat in a few, mostly European countries. There's a list on the USDA Web site that includes Belgium, Slovenia and Liechtenstein -- a tiny country, 80 times smaller than Clark County. There have been cases in most of western Europe and Japan.
The working theory is that cows first contracted mad cow disease (more properly known as Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy) after being fed feed with sheep meat-and-bone meal contaminated by scrapie, a similar disease affecting sheep. Humans end up with a version similar to a fatal ailment called Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease, which scientists have logically dubbed "variant Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease."
It's a nasty disease to say the least. Symptoms include weird touch sensations, Alzheimer's-like conditions brought on by a brain full of spongelike holes and, within a year or so, death. Scary, yes, but of the hundreds of thousands of people who have eaten meat from infected cattle, fewer than 200 are confirmed to have contracted vCJD.
In reality, you have a much greater chance of being struck by lightning, attacked by a shark or drowning in your bathtub, so it's not really worth the effort to worry about it. Instead, worry that somewhere, someone may be working on the script for "Cannibal Cows of Liechtenstein."
F. Andrew Taylor is a Las Vegas freelance writer. His column appears twice monthly. Contact him at fandrewt@cox.net.
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